here is what is

i came here on a blade driving wheel now im carrying these two heavy arms of steal...thats how i feel. i think ive had my fill of adventure and questions...i wanna retire. im watching mad men last night and thinking why are these people doing all these evil things ...so i decided to go pop and not care about cool....i want to enjoy the surface. i want to jump into modernity not fight it anymore and who cares if its meaningless i just dont want to hurt anyone and thats what the point is.

what?

the wierd thing about being me is you look back at something you thought the day before and it seems totally strange.....but whatever ....i dont see that as important unless your running for student body president. Man i havent written anything in over 10 years...my brain is like mixing cement...i think the art i want to make is distinct and new but i really just think it can be a collection of anything aslong as its uniform or themed...so i think once you do that you have a language...gonna try that out....goodnight

supermarket

so like if your going to a supermarket you should have a list lest you start buying everything you see....i see art as that list....we are set by God to do something... not worry about everything that enters our minds like the new top reality show is or what new hairstyle everyone has.. i dont have to empathize with network awkwardness jokes. i want to be an artist but so much gets in the way ...im just here for milk and that milk is God. so many types of cereal boxes in my brain but i dont want any of them. so i need to stop worrying and just start encountering Him in art with the faith that i will see Him there. now that i see the playing field i realize how lucky i am and how much my friends love me. and that makes me feel safe.